You’ve learned how to make million-dollar decisions. But leading your wife the same way? That scares you. And it’s costing you real intimacy. All of life has a way of shaping us, and then we often repeat the same patterns until we get a wake-up call. There are learned behaviors that help us get what we want. Then there are false identities that helped us learn how to cope. Here’s the truth most men miss: the reason you’re not getting the love and intimacy you want with your wife isn’t her...
4 days ago • 1 min read
Wholehearted Leadership is back this coming Tuesday and I'm honored to bring you five conversations at the intersection of identity, marriage, and vocation. Lyle Wells — President of Integris Leadership, executive coach, and a guy who's been fired twice and learned to hold his purpose tightly while holding every position loosely. We talk about why life is a series of sprints, not a marathon. Steve Cuss — Founder of Capable Life and author of Managing Leadership Anxiety. Steve helped me see...
24 days ago • 1 min read
It was not that long ago that Jessica and I were sitting at home during the summer, quietly wondering when we would get to take our family on vacation. It was one of the hardest and darkest seasons of our life. Now we are thrilled to be able to dream, plan, and adventure together. It is one of our core family values that we created: how do we not increase the footprint of our home, but intentionally create more adventures? At the same time, for the last sixteen years we have made...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
The gun range does something in me. It opens up a frontier of my heart that needs ongoing exploration and it reveals the uncharted territory most of us are carrying. We are carrying real needs that we dare not name. Are you willing to be seen as needy? Most men aren’t. And that is why they remain stuck. After leading men for over two decades: I’ve learned one thing: Unlocking the canyon of a man’s heart requires risk. Risk to create the environment. Risk to model truth telling. Risk to ask...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Every week, men share with me what's happening below the surface of their lives. Raw stories. Infidelity. Addiction. Affairs. The relentless chase of business success—and the loneliness that comes with it. Most of them didn't wake up and decide to blow up their marriage. It happened slowly, in the quiet moments of fatigue and desperation, over the years. Then some marriages look great on Sunday morning, and next week, they file for divorce. One of the biggest culprits that sabotages...
2 months ago • 1 min read
Do you ever feel exhausted, bored, or unsure about your next step? I’ve been hearing this a lot lately: “I’m burnt out and don’t know what to do.” A man running a $12 million business came to me feeling this way. Like many early entrepreneurs, he was stuck reacting to whatever was most urgent. If it wasn’t on fire, it didn’t get his attention — including the important things like his marriage and his own well-being. Burnout often happens when you’re living in that “in-between” space — not...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Recently, I met an older gentleman who surprised me. He asked simple and normal questions, but the way he asked them felt completely different — full of real warmth and genuine curiosity. It made me want to get to know him. I want to become that kind of man. Someone who listens more than he speaks. Someone who slows down, pays attention, and truly cares about other people’s stories and hearts. You may recall the scripture that says, "be quick to listen and slow to speak..." Even though I do...
3 months ago • 1 min read
One of the biggest struggles I hear from men is the desire to truly be present when they walk through the door at home. We get our identity from what we do. So when we’re invited into a place that requires our heart—our wife, our kids, our relationship with God—we often feel disconnected and unsure how to show up. Some people talk about a runner’s high. Others describe getting in the zone. Or maybe you remember a moment when “time stood still.” One of the greatest quarter backs of all time...
3 months ago • 3 min read
How to increase intimacy with your wife this week. Seven short ideas below. Every entrepreneur, owner, and man I know is moving with intensity and focus on their most pressing business goals. This is a noble endeavor to provide for the lifestyle that you desire. In the pursuit, your wife still desires your presence, connection, and attention. Here are the seven short ways to win. 1) When you arrive home from work, take the five-minute presence challenge. Put your phone down, stand in her...
3 months ago • 1 min read