I remember the afternoon phone call that would make my chest heavy. Our girls were much smaller. I was grinding as an executive pastor at the time. All in the name of working harder to provide for the family. Jessica would call almost everyday at 3:00pm and ask, “When are you coming home?”I would passively say in frustration, “I don’t know. Probably about the same time as yesterday.”Her cry for help with four girls and my desire to provide was creating unseen friction. It cost us real...
about 7 hours ago • 1 min read
When I was 35, I went to the doctor with shingles. I wasn't in the hospital, and I wasn't falling apart. Or at least that's what I told myself. I was just running hard, the way a lot of us do. Adrenaline for breakfast. Push through. Figure it out later. My body had a different opinion. I thought about that season this week while recording with my friend Brian Kiser. Brian is a Chick-fil-A Owner-Operator in Greensboro and one of the men in The Arena. In his late 30s, stress put him in the...
24 days ago • 1 min read
These simple questions could take your marriage to the next level in 48 hours. The path to intimacy for women is to create space to hear what is truly going on. Learning the skill of asking questions will serve both of you. The ongoing goal is to get a PhD in your spouse. Every season brings new opportunities and challenges. Choose to elevate your marriage. Hiking outside of Pagosa Springs, CO What are you grateful for?What brought you joy this week?Where did you feel seen and noticed?What...
27 days ago • 1 min read
Yesterday I celebrated turning 46. I was overwhelmed with the love and support I received. Jessica and the girls showered goodness on me. I even paused a 30 day detox to enjoy a piece of homemade Dulce de Leche Banana Cream Pie. I share the following from a posture of gratitude and I want to encourage you wherever you are on the journey, to hold fast. This past weekend Jessica and I taught the hidden principles that have forged our 21+ marriage in what we are calling the IntimacyOS Marriage...
28 days ago • 3 min read
A Mechanical Bull and Marriage Will Test Your LimitsI asked the operators if the mechanical bull was open for adults or only the teens. Every man is always asking, “Do I have what it takes?” I knew this was my test for the day. Moments later I had the Tim McGraw song in my head…”I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named…”I grabbed the rope tightly and clamped my knees down. Then I felt the slight shift in my groin and knew immediately I had an injury. I kept riding so I would not be exposed. Instead...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
There is great polarity that exists when talking to men about emotions. It’s not a novel concept, but I believe it is one that needs more attention in leadership circles were men tend to lean on their knowledge and facts. Here are the most common ways I hear it. “I don’t have emotions.” “I’m not emotional.” “I have to keep going.” I want to sound the alarm. This is not how we are designed. It does not take long to notice male loneliness, depression, suicide, gambling, addictions, and...
about 1 month ago • 4 min read
Our words carry significant weight. Our tongue is like a rudder on a ship, as James says, small but powerful. I believe one of the primary principles of having a high-performing marriage is trust. The foundation of trust is being a consistent person who lives by the standard of your word. Trust is using your words to help establish a future desire or reality. Jesus makes it clear from Matthew 5:37 how simple integrity needs to be, and it starts with a simple yes or no. And the book of wisdom...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
I recently sat down Chris DeLeenheer — family office leader, investor, former church planter and missionary, and author of The Quiet Drift: Why Successful People lose their Way and How to Find Your Way Back — for a conversation that moves from bow hunting and endurance racing straight into the deep end: identity, sonship, and what happens when a driven man realizes his work has quietly become his worth. Chris traces his own story from planting a church, to a season in India, to building and...
2 months ago • 1 min read
Did your sex drive recently dive?Before you look to testosterone, blame her, or call it midlife. It may have less to do with drive than it does with stress. Your body is keeping track more than you realize. Back to school. End of summer vacation. Dropping the first one at the dorm. Grieving the transition of another season. Life is full. However, if you want to feel fully alive, it will require doing the sacrificial work that is essential to reigniting what you want most. Your drive may be...
2 months ago • 1 min read