Every week real insights from private coaching with high performing men rekindling desire, connection, sex, and intimacy in their marriage.
The Crocodile in Your Marriage
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Every week, men share with me what's happening below the surface of their lives. Raw stories. Infidelity. Addiction. Affairs. The relentless chase of business success—and the loneliness that comes with it. Most of them didn't wake up and decide to blow up their marriage. It happened slowly, in the quiet moments of fatigue and desperation, over the years. Then some marriages look great on Sunday morning, and next week, they file for divorce. One of the biggest culprits that sabotages well-intended marriages is unresolved conflict and unforgiveness. We have traded our courageous conversations in marriage for comfort culture and conflict avoidance. As long as the money comes in, the trips are booked, the house is in the right neighborhood, the kids have the activities, and everything performs well, yet the inside goes numb. Marriages don't blow up because something else is better on the other side of the fence. They blow up because we stopped telling each other the truth. "I feel lonely today. I need your presence." We started Taekwon Do, and one of the mantras the instructor says at the end is: "Just because the water is calm doesn't mean there aren't crocodiles below." You may have a good marriage on the surface of the water. What is the crocodile under the surface? An unspoken need, desire, or want. Take the first step and name what you are afraid of, the emotion of that fear, and the behavior driving that feeling. Some men are doing the work. One man I coach took courageous steps this week to exchange what the world offers for intimacy and pursue a new path. Another man I coach has stopped using addictive substances and is committed to pursuing his dream that God put in his heart. A third is drawing real boundaries to protect the tyranny of the urgent phone calls from business to give his best to his family, not his leftovers. We all have ongoing work today to create a life and a marriage that mirrors the gospel. By God's grace and favor, this path is open to those who take the risk to walk a narrow path. The doors are open to The Arena - a place where men walk in their true identity and pursue intimacy with their wife and greater impact in their God-given purpose. DM to start the conversation. Either way, I am cheering you on. PS. Every week I work privately with Christian CEOs and executives who are serious about winning at home as much as they win at work. My clients see real results — more peace, a stronger marriage, better teams, and in many cases, significant revenue growth. When you're ready, let's talk and ask me anything about — 1:1 coaching, The Arena Mastermind, or a Strategic Planning Day. Was this forwarded to you? Subscribe here to get this in your inbox every week.
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High Performance Marriage
Every week real insights from private coaching with high performing men rekindling desire, connection, sex, and intimacy in their marriage.
Our words carry significant weight. Our tongue is like a rudder on a ship, as James says, small but powerful. I believe one of the primary principles of having a high-performing marriage is trust. The foundation of trust is being a consistent person who lives by the standard of your word. Trust is using your words to help establish a future desire or reality. Jesus makes it clear from Matthew 5:37 how simple integrity needs to be, and it starts with a simple yes or no. And the book of wisdom...
I recently sat down Chris DeLeenheer — family office leader, investor, former church planter and missionary, and author of The Quiet Drift: Why Successful People lose their Way and How to Find Your Way Back — for a conversation that moves from bow hunting and endurance racing straight into the deep end: identity, sonship, and what happens when a driven man realizes his work has quietly become his worth. Chris traces his own story from planting a church, to a season in India, to building and...
Did your sex drive recently dive?Before you look to testosterone, blame her, or call it midlife. It may have less to do with drive than it does with stress. Your body is keeping track more than you realize. Back to school. End of summer vacation. Dropping the first one at the dorm. Grieving the transition of another season. Life is full. However, if you want to feel fully alive, it will require doing the sacrificial work that is essential to reigniting what you want most. Your drive may be...