Every week: real insights from private coaching with men becoming Champion Husbands. | Subscribe and Get the Unlock Intimacy by Friday Challenge for Free
The Crocodile in Your Marriage
|
Every week, men share with me what's happening below the surface of their lives. Raw stories. Infidelity. Addiction. Affairs. The relentless chase of business success—and the loneliness that comes with it. Most of them didn't wake up and decide to blow up their marriage. It happened slowly, in the quiet moments of fatigue and desperation, over the years. Then some marriages look great on Sunday morning, and next week, they file for divorce. One of the biggest culprits that sabotages well-intended marriages is unresolved conflict and unforgiveness. We have traded our courageous conversations in marriage for comfort culture and conflict avoidance. As long as the money comes in, the trips are booked, the house is in the right neighborhood, the kids have the activities, and everything performs well, yet the inside goes numb. Marriages don't blow up because something else is better on the other side of the fence. They blow up because we stopped telling each other the truth. "I feel lonely today. I need your presence." We started Taekwon Do, and one of the mantras the instructor says at the end is: "Just because the water is calm doesn't mean there aren't crocodiles below." You may have a good marriage on the surface of the water. What is the crocodile under the surface? An unspoken need, desire, or want. Take the first step and name what you are afraid of, the emotion of that fear, and the behavior driving that feeling. Some men are doing the work. One man I coach took courageous steps this week to exchange what the world offers for intimacy and pursue a new path. Another man I coach has stopped using addictive substances and is committed to pursuing his dream that God put in his heart. A third is drawing real boundaries to protect the tyranny of the urgent phone calls from business to give his best to his family, not his leftovers. We all have ongoing work today to create a life and a marriage that mirrors the gospel. By God's grace and favor, this path is open to those who take the risk to walk a narrow path. The doors are open to The Arena - a place where men walk in their true identity and pursue intimacy with their wife and greater impact in their God-given purpose. DM to start the conversation. Either way, I am cheering you on. PS. Every week I work privately with Christian CEOs and executives who are serious about winning at home as much as they win at work. My clients see real results — more peace, a stronger marriage, better teams, and in many cases, significant revenue growth. When you're ready, let's talk and ask me anything about — 1:1 coaching, The Arena Mastermind, or a Strategic Planning Day. Was this forwarded to you? Subscribe here to get this in your inbox every week.
|
High Performance Marriage with Lantz Howard
Every week: real insights from private coaching with men becoming Champion Husbands. | Subscribe and Get the Unlock Intimacy by Friday Challenge for Free
Did your sex drive recently dive?Before you look to testosterone, blame her, or call it midlife. It may have less to do with drive than it does with stress. Your body is keeping track more than you realize. Back to school. End of summer vacation. Dropping the first one at the dorm. Grieving the transition of another season. Life is full. However, if you want to feel fully alive, it will require doing the sacrificial work that is essential to reigniting what you want most. Your drive may be...
You’ve learned how to make million-dollar decisions. But leading your wife the same way? That scares you. And it’s costing you real intimacy. All of life has a way of shaping us, and then we often repeat the same patterns until we get a wake-up call. There are learned behaviors that help us get what we want. Then there are false identities that helped us learn how to cope. Here’s the truth most men miss: the reason you’re not getting the love and intimacy you want with your wife isn’t her...
Wholehearted Leadership is back this coming Tuesday and I'm honored to bring you five conversations at the intersection of identity, marriage, and vocation. Lyle Wells — President of Integris Leadership, executive coach, and a guy who's been fired twice and learned to hold his purpose tightly while holding every position loosely. We talk about why life is a series of sprints, not a marathon. Steve Cuss — Founder of Capable Life and author of Managing Leadership Anxiety. Steve helped me see...