Earlier this summer, I let the voice of religion silence me from talking about what men really long for in marriage: meaningful, transformational sex with their wife.I pulled back because some labeled it “transactional.”But now I see clearly—this is one of the enemy’s greatest strategies: to silence voices, to distort and destroy the gift of married sex, both for pleasure and for creation. Here’s the truth: men don’t just want more sex.The sex they want is deeper than a transaction. The men I...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
1. Surrender to the Lordship of Christ Daily Every marriage begins with how a man orders his own heart. Surrender isn’t a one-time prayer; it’s a daily act of humility where you lay down pride, selfish ambition, and control. When a husband wakes up and says, “Jesus, today I give You my thoughts, my actions, and my love,” he becomes anchored. A man surrendered to Christ will never lead his marriage from ego, but from the overflow of God’s love. 2. Tell the Truth About Your Fears and Feelings...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
There is a generation of men seeking a mission. This may be your wake-up call. Last week, I finished an intensive with leaders in the Texas Hill Country who are choosing the narrow path—men willing to do their own soul work before mapping the strategy of their organization (we did both). I am convinced that the leaders who embrace this hidden work will be the ones who lead with fresh imagination and resilient presence in the future. For too long, this mission has been hidden beneath our...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
I was surrounded by an amazing wife and four young daughters—yet I felt alone.My soul was fragmented. I had outward success, but inwardly, I was far from experiencing joy, peace, and connection. I believed I had arrived. But the truth? I was still striving—proving my worth, earning applause, and ignoring the ache in my heart.For many faith-forward, high-achieving men, this is the battle: our hearts have grown calloused to receiving. One's ability to receive is directly connected to your...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Attention, busy married CEO and high achievers: Marital drift begins with busy schedules. Don't be ashamed to schedule sexual intimacy with your spouse. In fact, below are five benefits of doing just that.There are seasons in life when it’s not only acceptable but wise to initiate intimacy by planning days ahead.At a retreat my wife and I led, couples spent time clarifying what they each need right now to win. Essentially, we created a structured “cheat sheet” for one another. We call this...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Every week, I sit with high-achieving men who have become experts at serving everyone else—at the expense of their own heart and deepest desires. These men are CEOs, entrepreneurs, and creatives who are hard-wired for vision. What they build is inspiring, their success contagious—at least to outsiders. But behind the scenes? Rarely does anyone tell them the truth. At work, people stay silent out of fear—fear of losing their position, their influence, or their seat at the table. And at home,...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
One of our biggest fights was at a marriage conference.The very place we thought would help us grow our marriage ended up feeling like it drove a wedge between us.It was not a weekend to remember.Instead, it was a weekend when small irritations turned into fragmented intimacy.We were only a couple of years into our marriage, committed to intentionally investing in our relationship every year. But that weekend, we found ourselves sitting on the floor in the hallway of a Las Vegas hotel during...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
The love language model created a scoreboard mentally in marriage, and it is hurting you more than serving you. The book has sold millions, and the unintended consequence is that it created a quid pro quo relationship. "I'll meet your needs...""Then you will meet my needs..."Your marriage was never meant to be a scoreboard of “needs met.”Your wife was not created to fill all of your needs. Marriage isn’t about your spouse constantly reading your mind and checking off your list. It’s about two...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
In today’s conversation, Jessica and I sit down to talk about preferences and negotiations in marriage. Marriage is one long dance of learning how to negotiate desires, preferences, and needs. We explore one particular area of negotiation and share how to avoid “piling on the emotional laundry.” You’ll walk away with practical ways to: Your tension is never about the thing: ie, our "thing" in the conversation was over laundry Enter difficult conversations with courage and clarity Keep no...
2 months ago • 1 min read