High-achieving men are living under the weight of shame because we’ve misplaced what it means to confess. Below is a new paradigm to help. I grew up in a church culture determined to get the pattern of the early church right. And if you didn’t, the message was clear: God was going to punish you. At the time, I didn’t realize how much that created uncertainty and anxiety in my life. But it did—spilling over into my leadership, my relationships, and even how I saw myself. This paradigm shaped...
10 days ago • 1 min read
I’ve recorded conversations with Henry Cloud, Dr. John Delony, Navy SEALs, and professional athletes—but this one was harder than I expected. We’ve been talking about doing this for over a year—sharing our own marriage with leaders who listen to the podcast. Yesterday we finally hit record. Today it’s live for you and your spouse!! The format is simple: a conversational style with tough but honest questions you can ask each other as we’re asking them too. You will unlock the emotional...
11 days ago • 1 min read
The two deepest cuts on a man's identity: occupation and dad. Both were taken from me in the same week. Two years ago, I was at one of my deepest and darkest places. My dad died, and I got fired, in the same week.I did not know the full gravity of grief until, during the winter months, I found myself in rage, throwing the plyometric box down the road and a 10lb weight through the wall of my garage.Days later, I was attempting to express what had happened to a few close men and mentors. One...
15 days ago • 2 min read
I know my identity...I know the difference between the false self and the true self.So why would I need to spend more time reading about it?That’s exactly what I thought two or three years ago when someone first told me to read Living Fearless by Jamie Winship.Then, earlier this year, it happened again.“You’ve got to read and listen to Jamie…”I listened to his Identity Camp series, and something deep inside me woke up.Over the last five months, I’ve spent more than a hundred hours listening...
17 days ago • 1 min read
We rolled into Graham, TX, and pulled into Allsup’s* gas station. Before the girls unbuckled, I told them, “Hold on…I pointed over to the other side of the parking lot…22 years ago, your mother pulled into that parking spot right over there…I remember what she was wearing when she got out of her Toyota Tacoma - she had a Chicago Cubs jersey shirt, shorts, and a cap. She looked stunning!” We had only met each other three weeks before, and she came to meet my family that weekend. Then the...
17 days ago • 1 min read
I am honored to bring you this conversation with my friend and long-time client, Hunter Clinton. Hunter is the Owner/Operator of Chick-fil-A in Anna, TX. In our conversation together, we discussed how to stay engaged with your wife even when adding a fourth child, building a team culture to be the salt and light in the community, and how your leadership evolves throughout the years if you stay committed to be a lifelong learner. You can listen to and share this conversation with others right...
18 days ago • 1 min read
This one thing is not attractive to your wife, and you may be doing it more than you realize. There are a few names for this behavior. Silent agreements. Hidden agendas.Covert contracts.It's the weird things you are doing that you hope she will notice. The subtle lie you believe is that if she notices, then she will find you attractive.When she finds you attractive, she will say yes to your bid for connection or intimacy.This happens because of a longing for meaningful attachment.Stop having...
23 days ago • 1 min read
"I had to give a presentation in the boardroom of a CEO of a 90,000-employee company, and ever since I have been feeling like a fraud."That’s what he told me in our second deep coaching conversation.This man leads an enterprise team of 6 executives and 600 people in total under his divisional leadership. On paper? He’s crushing it, yet slowly fading in his role and carrying the stress home to his marriage.His soul? He’s been carrying a quiet heaviness, tight chest, migraines, and performance...
23 days ago • 1 min read
I asked God for more intimacy in my marriage, but he gave me something else. What I did not realize is that he was helping me become a wholehearted man through my prayers. I caused pain in our marriage by going silent. Silence by swallowing my desires, wants, and needs. I avoided the hard conversations because I feared conflict. This built up over time and became passive-aggressive episodes that damaged our relationship. I knew I was not broken. I knew she was not the problem. I did not have...
25 days ago • 1 min read