One of the biggest struggles I hear from men is the desire to truly be present when they walk through the door at home. We get our identity from what we do. So when we’re invited into a place that requires our heart—our wife, our kids, our relationship with God—we often feel disconnected and unsure how to show up.

Some people talk about a runner’s high. Others describe getting in the zone. Or maybe you remember a moment when “time stood still.” One of the greatest quarter backs of all time Tom Brady would say it this way:

Every high achiever is chasing this place of radical presence. On the Whole Hearted Leadership podcast, Jim Murphy shared how the greatest golfers he’s coached have mastered the art of not attaching to wins or losses, but simply stepping up to enjoy the next stroke—one putt at a time.

They’ve learned to be radically present, both at work and at home. I want to draw your attention to what I call the flow—that powerful place where your true identity begins to align uniquely with your God-given gifts and talents in a state of unconscious competence. I haven’t mastered it yet, but I sense God’s invitation calling me deeper into this territory.

It feels like a familiar place that’s been hidden in my soul all along. I believe every man wants to live in this flow. Yet the anxiety and cares of this world toss us around like a wild, raging sea. We keep wondering when we’ll finally come up for air—only for the phone to ring and another wave to crash over us.

Most of us live stuck in what John Eldredge calls an overdeveloped left-brain approach to life. We live in our heads—analyzing, achieving, performing, and tying our worth to outcomes. Eldredge writes:

And:

This is why so many successful men feel the tension. We’ve been trained in left-brain living—where identity comes from doing. But God is calling us into right-brain, heart-centered development: a place of deep presence, surrendered ego, and hearing the unique name He calls us.

This past week, seven men gathered in The Arena to do exactly that—move beyond performance and success into wholehearted living. Men who have tasted achievement but still hunger for a deeper walk with the Lord. Men who want passionate marriages and real impact that flows from the heart, not just the resume.

I’m living proof of what happens when you’re surrounded by men committed to this journey. In authentic community, God creates sacred space where we can rest in the flow of His generative love and rediscover the man we were created to be.

If you’re a man who wants to live in that flow—radically present at work and at home, rooted in your true identity in Christ—consider this your invitation.

​Join us in The Arena.

I’d love to have you step in with other brave men pursuing the path of becoming wholehearted. Seats will be limited and applications will close in July.

Here is what BJ said about stepping into The Arena:

When you join The Arena you get a curated environment designed for men wanting to have real conversations. If you sense something in you, pay attention and ask God if this is his invitation for you. Come get in the flow and receive all that he has for you.

Be Strong, Lantz Howard ​​​​​

Align your identity, marriage, and vocation–so you can lead wholeheartedly

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