It was not that long ago that Jessica and I were sitting at home during the summer, quietly wondering when we would get to take our family on vacation. It was one of the hardest and darkest seasons of our life. Now we are thrilled to be able to dream, plan, and adventure together. It is one of our core family values that we created: how do we not increase the footprint of our home, but intentionally create more adventures? At the same time, for the last sixteen years we have made unconventional sacrifices for her to stay at home while raising our four girls. There is a trade to every decision. I often feel this weight when I look out at the horizon, or even when we make another trip to Costco. Our financial lives are complex, and I believe if we do not slow down to consider the weight, the cost, then many of us — including our family — could end up on a never-ending treadmill that the flesh and empire has sold us as a lie.

This week I had four similar but distinct coaching conversations about finances. In particular, I will frame this as learning to live on the margins and discern a lifestyle cap or wealth finish line. It appears everywhere you look, and in every conversation you have, that everyone is moving up and to the right. But one common denominator I have heard through the years from successful Kingdom business owners is that there is a quiet pull to take a lower seat. One man said it this way after exiting his company: years of having the lake house, the boat, the jet skis, the cars, and all the things for our kids — my wife and I decided it was time for something simple and small in a neighborhood. We wanted the next season of our life to be about proximity to community and friends.

Here is what discerning a lifestyle cap or wealth finish line sounds like from my coaching conversations this week:

“I am grateful I had the courage to finally talk to my wife about selling our home and downsizing.”

“What if we sold one of our properties, paid off the one we lived in, and that would immediately give us more time and freedom?”

“We made a decision not to buy a jet or charter planes because it helps us stay human.”

“Is it possible to flip the script and give away 30–50% of our income?”

A friend laid out this idea about 15 years ago, and I truly did not understand why one would intentionally cap their earning and give away everything thereafter. I have heard Pete Ochs talk about this in person — that he and his close friends noticed decades ago they were going to make tons of money, and they all committed together to what I am calling a lifestyle cap, and have not increased their income since that day.

Why does this matter to you? Because I hear conversations all the time about the goalpost moving. We have talked about this in our own home — the need, and reality, for the goalpost to move because of the demands of raising four girls, life, and not to mention absurd inflation. How do you decide enough is enough? What would happen in your home if the footprint of your home decreased? What could be possible if you didn’t have a car payment? Two car payments? In Simple Money, Rich Life, they offer great guiding principles to help you have deeper conversations in your home about this subject, and I always come back to one quote from their book: “Never suppress a generous thought.” How often do you suppress a generous thought because of your own financial limitations?

Jesus said, “Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you.” Are you seeking the Kingdom, or only building your own empire? Empire thinking leads to stress, drain, conflict, and the feeling of being behind. Kingdom living leads to freedom, peace, and security.

I believe it comes down to the simple teaching: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Where is your heart on considering a lifestyle cap, finances, stewardship, and generosity? In closing, I want to leave you with this web app you can save to your phone or bookmark on your desktop. A friend created it recently — the Biblical Stewardship Toolkit — and there is one section I want to point your attention toward: Wealth Finish Line. Based on the books God and Money Cortines & Baumer and Money, Possessions, and Eternity by Randy Alcorn it is an integrated platform to help you and your house discern with the Lord. Here is how they frame this part of the conversation: “Never, under any circumstances, accumulate more than 33 times our Spending Finish Line.” The authors set a personal wealth cap at 33x their annual spending (~$3.3M based on $100K spending). Anything above flows to Kingdom purposes.

Coaching questions for you to consider:

What is enough?

Who moved the goal post?

What does God want me to know about my heart towards money?

What is one thing He wants me to do about a Spirit led insight?

Be Strong, Lantz Howard Wholehearted Leadership Coaching Identity | Marriage | Vocation Success means nothing if your disconnected from yourself, your marriage, or God. Come recover your heart and lead wholeheartedly from your God-given design. ​Schedule a 15 minute conversation to explore a coaching partnership, team leadership training, or inviting Jessica and I out to lead a IntimacyOS workshop for high capacity couples. ​​​​​