The Calloused Heart of a High Achiever


I was surrounded by an amazing wife and four young daughters—yet I felt alone.

My soul was fragmented. I had outward success, but inwardly, I was far from experiencing joy, peace, and connection. I believed I had arrived. But the truth? I was still striving—proving my worth, earning applause, and ignoring the ache in my heart.

For many faith-forward, high-achieving men, this is the battle: our hearts have grown calloused to receiving.

One's ability to receive is directly connected to your ability to give away what you have. Said another way, your life cannot overflow if you are not experiencing and receiving love.

I was not carrying freedom; I was carrying unnamed wounds. I followed Jesus, but I was not surrendering the pain in my heart. And he was not able to provide the transformation I desperately needed without me telling the truth.


Every day, I walk with men who are experiencing similar stories. Outside—running multiple businesses, leading teams, and casting a bold vision. On the inside—they feel like a Corolla dressed up as a Ferrari.

So here’s the invitation: Tell Jesus the truth. Where are you struggling to trust Him? What wound are you still carrying?

Are you carrying around a wound from your mom that says you're never enough and you will continue to fail? And you have developed a script in life to prove her wrong.

You are now middle-aged aged taking out the feeling of being a failure on your children in a burst of random anger in the carpool line? What if Jesus could heal this place? Would you be willing?

He is not keeping joy, peace, and freedom from you. He is waiting at the door for you to knock and welcome him closer to your tired heart.

Slow down. Tell the truth. Give Him access

Your life, marriage, and business will begin to flourish in new ways once you are able to name the truth about what you feel.


High Performance Marriage Journal | Lantz Howard

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