The Afternoon Phone Call that Made My Chest Heavy

Published about 10 hours ago • 1 min read

I remember the afternoon phone call that would make my chest heavy.

Our girls were much smaller.

I was grinding as an executive pastor at the time.

All in the name of working harder to provide for the family.

Jessica would call almost everyday at 3:00pm and ask, “When are you coming home?”

I would passively say in frustration, “I don’t know. Probably about the same time as yesterday.”

Her cry for help with four girls and my desire to provide was creating unseen friction.

It cost us real intimacy and connection. Not because there was ever a fight. No, instead it was because I settled for good enough and artificial buoyancy at home.

On the outside no one knew disconnection was happening. Underneath though there were crocodiles all around waiting to take us and our marriage out.

We figured out how to survive that season. Now, I spend my time helping other high drive men slow down and take inventory of what is really going on.

I am afraid the slow drift that happens in your 30s and 40s create a contenital divide by the time you are in your 50s.

Your fine being roommates because the risk is to great to stand true in what you really want to feel with your wife.

Aliveness. Passion. Freedom. Friendship.

Brother, I encourage you to learn how to face what is happening and create the marriage of your dreams.

Nothing is more valuable than winning at home. The success in your marriage will provide greater energy and success at work.

So today if your wife calls this afternoon here is how I would respond.

“What do feel when you call me?”

Then listen.

Creating a marriage that is on fire takes work, but the work is worth the investment.

Be Strong,

Lantz Howard

PS. Are you ready to invest? Next month in the Champion Husband Challenge with men in The Arena we will talk about how to turn up the heat in our marriage during the holidays. Are you ready to join other high drive men in the pursuit of discovering your true identity and the next level of intimacy in your marriage? Reply to this email to start the conversation.

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