Why Achievers and Pleasers Are Often Wounded with Patrick Lencioni


I was privileged to sit down with Patrick Lencioni and talk about his leadership reset in 2024. This is a candid conversation that shines a light on performance addiction and how we can get out of the trap of achieving and pleasing and become healthy leaders.


Patrick Lencioni, Founder of The Table Group. TG focus is on leading a movement to make organizational health a reality in companies and organizations everywhere. That's because we are utterly convinced that a healthy organization achieves greater results, builds a more loyal customer base, and develops fulfilled employees.

What I learned in my conversation with Pat:

  1. How Pat and his wife Laura grow their marriage through long drives together.
  2. Be responsive to the voice of God, and the Holy Spirit will lead you. Learning to respond in a way that is alignment with him and your gifting will lead you to flourish.
  3. How achievers and pleasers may not even be aware of their dark side because it gets rewarded in our organizations.
  4. The simple truths are the foundations of healthy organizations and a thriving life.
  5. The false narrative that exists when high performance is only measured by external outcomes.
  6. The addiction of high performers to please others is a dangerous path.
  7. Be excellent at your job and allow the joy of Jesus to be the overflow
  8. Learn about yourself through assessments, coaching, and get curious about the behaviors that are not consistent with the gifts that God gives you.
  9. Pray regularly and pause throughout the day to delight in the one who created you.

Listen on Apple | Listen on Spotify

If you find this useful and encouraging, please share it with a friend that you care about and leave a review.

Be Strong,

Lantz Howard

PS. Are you ready to step out of achieving and pleasing yourself? Come get the heart of your leadership back and live from your true identity with a strategic reset. Take this free assessment to gauge the health of your leadership and apply for your strategic reset today. Make the next six months your best six months with a strategic reset that includes a half day of deep work together that aligns your values and dreams with your true leadership identity.

Ready for your next growth phase? Let's talk.

Did a friend share this with you? Subscribe to get Lead Wholeheartedly directly to your email every week.

Follow the Whole Hearted Leadership podcast on Apple or Spotify and follow Lantz on LinkedIn or Instagram.

Welcome! I’m Lantz Howard. I'm a professional coach, therapist, and spiritual guide.

Get my newsletter that curates weekly insights from deep coaching conversations with CEO's founders, and owners designed to help you lead wholeheartedly in your business and marriage.

Read more from Welcome! I’m Lantz Howard. I'm a professional coach, therapist, and spiritual guide.

Good morning! Today's coaching conversation will help you overcome frantic activity and burnout by investing time in your physical health. First, I hope your Fourth of July celebration was enjoyable. It is incredible to consider that, although far from perfect, the freedom and 249-year experiment of democracy has created worldwide human flourishing. May we live with deep gratitude for what has been granted to us in the United States and seek to love our neighbor as ourselves. Take a moment...

The core of building a lasting marriage is not in the grand gestures; it is in the daily willingness to empty yourself to make your wife shine. Three ways you can do that today: Waterfall in Kuai, HI 1) Honor your wife publicly with words of affirmation that point to her character. 2) Practice anticipating her desires by asking, "How can I best love you today?"3) Surrender what you want now for what benefits her tomorrow.Experiment with one today by cultivating a small discipline to make her...

man and woman standing on blue and white boat on sea during daytime

I used to think passionate sex was all about technique—a myth that the world eagerly sells. It’s a false path to passion, wrapped in media images of instant, raw desire. But the reality is different: the husband walks in after a grueling 60-hour work week, juggling meetings and travel, while the wife, exhausted from her own work, shopping, and chauffeuring the kids, is barely holding it all together. Modern marriage often follows this path to empty, pseudo-intimacy, confusing fleeting...