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The Hidden Weight of High-Achieving Men: A New Paradigm for Confession
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High-achieving men are living under the weight of shame because we’ve misplaced what it means to confess. Below is a new paradigm to help. I grew up in a church culture determined to get the pattern of the early church right. And if you didn’t, the message was clear: God was going to punish you. At the time, I didn’t realize how much that created uncertainty and anxiety in my life. But it did—spilling over into my leadership, my relationships, and even how I saw myself. This paradigm shaped not only my view of God, but my view of myself and others. Deep down, I believed I had to be moral and avoid mistakes at all costs, and the only way to be loved—by God or by people—was to be perfect. I am only made whole and complete (righteous) in God through faith in Jesus Christ. Nothing more. Nothing less. Most God-honoring high achievers aren’t walking around saying, I’m perfect. But the culture of many modern churches, families, schools, and marriages has drilled this paradigm into us so deeply it feels like part of our DNA. The weight of having it all together is crushing the modern high achiever. And the shame that comes with it is keeping us from our truest, God-given potential. Scripture calls us to confess our sins, but I’ve rarely seen it modeled in a way that actually brings freedom. “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.” – James, the brother of Jesus So, what is confession? It’s telling the truth about how you see yourself, and where that doesn’t line up with how God sees you. For example, I feel insecure and behind. And what I’m tempted to do is numb out with hours of social media. That’s confession. Simple truth-telling about what you feel or fear. The transformation, breakthrough, and confidence you’re longing for won’t come by thinking harder or working smarter. It comes by connecting head and heart in the presence of a safe, trusted community. As Ruth Haley Barton writes: “One thing we can know for sure is that when we are confessing our sin to God but not to the people around us in ordinary, nitty-gritty life, there is not much real spiritual transformation going on.” You do not need a better operating system or strategy; you need a fresh outpouring of the Spirit in a structured and safe environment. Do you need a confidence reset? Are you a creative, entrepreneur, CEO, or a pastor? Next Thursday (Aug 28th) at 7:00 am CST, I’m hosting a free space to help you get your confidence back, restore your heart, and live from your true identity. Send me your email, and I’ll add you to the invite. |
Becoming Wholehearted by Lantz Howard
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